the other day when i was at the gym, there was a man there running around the track. this man was an amputee, with only one leg. as he was running, i could hear him grunting and moaning in what sounded like agony. i'm sure he was in pain, running hurts enough as it is, and he was doing it with a prosthetic. yet he kept going. i watched him go around and around and he just wouldn't quit. he sat down a few times to rest and then got right back up and it blew my mind. i kind of got emotional watching him because his tenacity was unrelenting, my heart ached for him and the pain he must have been feeling. obviously it was his choice to keep going, but i don't know if it was because he thought he was "strong."
i think everybody has strength they cannot see themselves. it's kinda like when you look at yourself in the mirror and you can't really even see your features anymore because you've looked at them a zillion times over. but they are there and they are unique and other people who are not you, can see every single one of them. they admire what we ourselves can't see anymore. maybe the reason we can't see our own strength is because we need other people. it makes sense doesn't it? if we could do everything on our own, why have families and friends? that would be a sucky life. so maybe the people that are in our lives are there because they have the ability to see what we can't see in our own reflections, and because they are there, we get through it.
and i think when other people see our strength, is often when we feel our weakest. have you ever looked back at an experience that was horrible to go through and marvel that you even got through it? like how on earth was i able to muster up all that strength to endure that? and then you look at someone going through their trial and are in awe because they don't stop. we can see them but we can't see ourselves. it's so frustrating that we can't see it because it really is a less-than-desirable feeling to feel like you're lacking and forty-seven steps behind.
human instinct is to survive, but we don't give ourselves enough credit for having the guts and perseverance it takes to do that. we are experts at pointing out how inadequate we are and fail to recognize the capability and strength.
you know, i don't think it's exactly a "good" thing to feel weak sometimes, but i do think in many ways it is a lot more beneficial than feeling strong all the time. it makes you grow in three dimensions rather than two. so maybe that's the point.
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