Thursday, April 27, 2017
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
half the sky.
I just finished Half the Sky by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn and it has changed my life. I think everything that you experience whether it be TV, books, movies, people you meet, influence your life in some way or another, but there are certain matters that will endure throughout your thoughts and being for the rest of your life. I've previously talked about how the most exquisite of things are the ones that make your soul want to explode...so it is with the hardest things in life to learn about. This book opened my eyes to all the heartaches of being a woman that I am privileged enough not to have ever even thought of at any point in my life, but millions of women do. How many hours have I spent complaining about my life and how it isn't where I want it to be, while there are women and girls out there, in real time, at this very moment, that are uneducated, worrying about being a child bride, honor killings, being sold into a brothel or worse? I feel so ashamed for wasting so much of my time worrying about myself, when there are much more prevalent issues.
I have seen the nonsensical ideals about what role women should play in society and the effects of unequal pay, but I have never had to experience the horrors of what is described in this book. It's what one would only imagine to be in the most upsetting of films. That's the biggest problem, isn't it? I had no idea. One of the main issues discussed, is that women need to be educated, they need to know that there is better out there, that they can take care of themselves and their families, and that they have rights, for education, for health, for choice. Women make up half the world, yet are denied much less than half the benefits and beauties that the world has to offer. At the other end of the spectrum, in the United States, here I am. A 26 year old single female, working on a second degree, but I also consider myself uneducated, because I knew nothing and even now know very little of what is happening on the other side of the world. With having so little knowledge, I am a bit overwhelmed about where to even begin to help, but I do know that this is not right, it is not just, and we all, myself included, need to become more educated.
Sunday, March 26, 2017
sunday.
you know what's great? people. even when they suck. because sometimes they do. and sometimes situations suck. and then you think you're going to go crazy so then you cut off all your hair.
but generally, i think people intend to do good. and be good. and want more kindness in the world.
even when it sucks.
sometimes i forget this. i have a book written by R.J. Palacio who wrote Wonder, which is phenomenal. but this book is called 365 Days of Wonder and is inspired and accompanies the previously mentioned novel. it's a book of precepts to live by. and it helps me to remember.
many of them are on kindness. today's (march 26) is
be kind whenever possible.
it is always possible.
-Dalai Lama
but i looked ahead for tomorrow, and that one is
as soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
and i just think that life would be a lot simpler if these things were not forgotten so often. that we remembered--that i remembered. it would make things seem not so bad, because for the most part, they aren't as bad as we often might think. there are much worse things in the world than what i am dealing with.
even so, some things are still hard, but if you (i) trust your(my)self, i think things will be fine.
always remember to be kind.
for kindness begets kindness evermore.
-Sophocles
february 28
but generally, i think people intend to do good. and be good. and want more kindness in the world.
even when it sucks.
sometimes i forget this. i have a book written by R.J. Palacio who wrote Wonder, which is phenomenal. but this book is called 365 Days of Wonder and is inspired and accompanies the previously mentioned novel. it's a book of precepts to live by. and it helps me to remember.
many of them are on kindness. today's (march 26) is
be kind whenever possible.
it is always possible.
-Dalai Lama
but i looked ahead for tomorrow, and that one is
as soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
and i just think that life would be a lot simpler if these things were not forgotten so often. that we remembered--that i remembered. it would make things seem not so bad, because for the most part, they aren't as bad as we often might think. there are much worse things in the world than what i am dealing with.
even so, some things are still hard, but if you (i) trust your(my)self, i think things will be fine.
always remember to be kind.
for kindness begets kindness evermore.
-Sophocles
february 28
kidisms part 2
last week i was released from my primary calling in church. i had been in that calling for about 7 years and it kind of broke my heart when i learned i wouldn't be with the littles anymore. but you can't stay in the same place forever.
these are some of the last funny things i heard the tiny humans say while i was in primary.
"i have ten coins and one dollar. that makes 11 monies." -N
"i would buy special things that Jesus wants me to buy." -P
"what kinds of things are those?"
"pictures of him." -P
"do you know why i wear tights? because i don't want to show my underwear at church." -N
"i like to eat the oranges because i hate drinking blood." -N
"i'm really good at farmer dancing." -K
"we're all gonna die." -D (repeated over and over)
"i reeeeaaallly hope there aren't drugs in there." -N (looking at the box of crayons)
"i help my neighbor." -B
"how?"
"like if they need to put dirt and grow a flower." -B
"mouses give us cheese." -J
"i already killed a bad guy." -S
"i made a roll." -P (meaning i'm on a roll)
"i don't really like to color but i do like grass." -N
these are some of the last funny things i heard the tiny humans say while i was in primary.
"i have ten coins and one dollar. that makes 11 monies." -N
"i would buy special things that Jesus wants me to buy." -P
"what kinds of things are those?"
"pictures of him." -P
"do you know why i wear tights? because i don't want to show my underwear at church." -N
"i like to eat the oranges because i hate drinking blood." -N
"i'm really good at farmer dancing." -K
"we're all gonna die." -D (repeated over and over)
"i reeeeaaallly hope there aren't drugs in there." -N (looking at the box of crayons)
"i help my neighbor." -B
"how?"
"like if they need to put dirt and grow a flower." -B
"mouses give us cheese." -J
"i already killed a bad guy." -S
"i made a roll." -P (meaning i'm on a roll)
"i don't really like to color but i do like grass." -N
Sunday, October 30, 2016
a quick sec
i'm missing a lot of things right now.
i'm missing my sisters. it's just me here now. and my dog.
my littlest is on a mission as of 6 days ago. 6 out of 547.
approximately.
the next oldest is in hawaii.
the next in her own home.
the same with the oldest.
and i am here. in district 13.
missing days of dressing up for halloween and trick-or-treating.
missing bunheads, tights and blistered feet.
missing spelling tests.
and naivety.
missing days where i didn't know how to drive and my parents would drive me everywhere.
missing days of not having anxiety about life and turning 26 and insurance and bills and school and everything.
and i'm actually procrastinating. i have a test i should be studying for and some readings that need to be read and eventually some sleep that needs to be slept (<< ha! in my dreams).
but i just need a quick sec to miss.
i'm missing my sisters. it's just me here now. and my dog.
my littlest is on a mission as of 6 days ago. 6 out of 547.
approximately.
the next oldest is in hawaii.
the next in her own home.
the same with the oldest.
and i am here. in district 13.
missing days of dressing up for halloween and trick-or-treating.
missing bunheads, tights and blistered feet.
missing spelling tests.
and naivety.
missing days where i didn't know how to drive and my parents would drive me everywhere.
missing days of not having anxiety about life and turning 26 and insurance and bills and school and everything.
and i'm actually procrastinating. i have a test i should be studying for and some readings that need to be read and eventually some sleep that needs to be slept (<< ha! in my dreams).
but i just need a quick sec to miss.
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
belle
my favorite kinds of things are the ones that make my soul want to explode. the kind where you can literally feel your soul pushing up against your skin aching to get out because the feelings these things give you are much bigger than a body can contain.
it's like when you are eating so much food, so much that it makes you want to cry, but you don't stop because you would rather be fat than give up the taste. so you keep eating and the tears are threatening. so it is with the best of things. but it's okay to let the tears come because maybe that's how your soul can express best without exploding.
have you ever felt that way?
the feeling of a need to keep feeling it even though sometimes it makes you cry and you can't even talk because you just need to feel and think. kind of like when you finish a book and your whole world has changed because of it but you feel strange because every thing around you is the same. where you begin to question yourself and are able to dive down further into your thoughts.
?
ahhh. i know what i am trying to say but i can't quite get it out. i wish i could pull a little bit of this feeling out of me and copy and paste it onto here. so that if ever i, or you, should forget about such beauty and need to find it again, it will always be here.
music. movement. art. film. words. perhaps romance as well but i have not experienced such an intensity with that yet.
i wish my soul was always on the brink of exploding.
yet again my life is about to change, i haven't quite figured out this whole thing of what i'm supposed to do in life and some days i think i never will. but i do know i want more of this feeling. i want to make moments like this in a world that can be so cruel, moments that remind people of all that life is and can be.
it's like when you are eating so much food, so much that it makes you want to cry, but you don't stop because you would rather be fat than give up the taste. so you keep eating and the tears are threatening. so it is with the best of things. but it's okay to let the tears come because maybe that's how your soul can express best without exploding.
have you ever felt that way?
the feeling of a need to keep feeling it even though sometimes it makes you cry and you can't even talk because you just need to feel and think. kind of like when you finish a book and your whole world has changed because of it but you feel strange because every thing around you is the same. where you begin to question yourself and are able to dive down further into your thoughts.
?
ahhh. i know what i am trying to say but i can't quite get it out. i wish i could pull a little bit of this feeling out of me and copy and paste it onto here. so that if ever i, or you, should forget about such beauty and need to find it again, it will always be here.
music. movement. art. film. words. perhaps romance as well but i have not experienced such an intensity with that yet.
i wish my soul was always on the brink of exploding.
yet again my life is about to change, i haven't quite figured out this whole thing of what i'm supposed to do in life and some days i think i never will. but i do know i want more of this feeling. i want to make moments like this in a world that can be so cruel, moments that remind people of all that life is and can be.
Monday, November 30, 2015
?
why do we do it? this endless torment of pain and suffering. all of it being self-inflicted.
it's us. over and over and over again. history teaches us nothing. we never learn. how the heavens must look down on us with such sorrow and disappointment. i do and i am here, in one tiny part of the world, unable to first-handedly see the effects of the world's rage, but confused and agonized about how to make it better.
every bit of the news is filled with terrors, but i am sure you already knew that.
maybe the problem is that we don't see ourselves as we. the world tries to divide itself up so that the blame does not hit us directly, but can be pushed aside to another sub group. maybe we can't face the fact that we are the only group. and why do we lash out at each other? whether it be as grand as attacks on paris or as small as hurting one's feelings. perhaps there is a void in all of our lives that our concious is unaware of. but how wrong are we to think that any form of hurt will be able to fill it.
"darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
-martin luther king jr.
i believe that the world is filled with so many people so that we may be able to see the light when everything can get dark. we have families because at least one point in our lives, we will inevitably be hurt by someone or something, but the most luxurious thing life offers, is those people who will always be there for us, blood related or not.
why do we forget?
quite possibly it is naive of me to dream of a utopian society but i hope it is not foolish of me to wish it anyway.
however brutal the world is, with deaths and stealings and liars and cheats and every other form of cruelty, i hope to see the world as the place it was meant to be: beautiful with endless possibilities. i hope that we don't ruin such magnificence for ourselves, because if we do, it will only be us we are hurting.
it's us. over and over and over again. history teaches us nothing. we never learn. how the heavens must look down on us with such sorrow and disappointment. i do and i am here, in one tiny part of the world, unable to first-handedly see the effects of the world's rage, but confused and agonized about how to make it better.
every bit of the news is filled with terrors, but i am sure you already knew that.
maybe the problem is that we don't see ourselves as we. the world tries to divide itself up so that the blame does not hit us directly, but can be pushed aside to another sub group. maybe we can't face the fact that we are the only group. and why do we lash out at each other? whether it be as grand as attacks on paris or as small as hurting one's feelings. perhaps there is a void in all of our lives that our concious is unaware of. but how wrong are we to think that any form of hurt will be able to fill it.
"darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
-martin luther king jr.
i believe that the world is filled with so many people so that we may be able to see the light when everything can get dark. we have families because at least one point in our lives, we will inevitably be hurt by someone or something, but the most luxurious thing life offers, is those people who will always be there for us, blood related or not.
why do we forget?
quite possibly it is naive of me to dream of a utopian society but i hope it is not foolish of me to wish it anyway.
however brutal the world is, with deaths and stealings and liars and cheats and every other form of cruelty, i hope to see the world as the place it was meant to be: beautiful with endless possibilities. i hope that we don't ruin such magnificence for ourselves, because if we do, it will only be us we are hurting.
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